Interesting post...I wonder about living a different lifestyle as well and I get hung up on if I'll have enough to retire with, or how will I get home to see my family, or what if I'm not safe. Interesting...

Stephanie,
You are a never-ending well of surprises. You have great depth and a rich soul. This post is a tiny reflection of that.
It's good to have convictions, but guilt is not in God's plan for us. You do so much for others that you will only see with the hundreds of kids you give value to grow up and are able to express their gratitude.
You are not a selfish person at all. And I also believe that you are a good steward of what you have and you give the people who see your life something to aim for; something greater than they currently understand.
There is great value in having things of value, as long as you continue to value others. And what you give to the people you serve is worth more than a nicer home; it is a priceless investment into their lives.

I meant to say, "You do so much for others tha you will only see 'when' they kids grow up."

I also want to add that your marriage and friendship with your amazing husband is also a priceless gift to others. Thank you for your model. I have gained more from your example than a thousand homes could ever benefit me.

Sorry. It's three in the morning and I can hardly see, much less type.

first, I didn't even know you had a blog...yay!!!

it's amazing what you learn through someone's words...the fact that you even have those thoughts demonstrates your lack of materialism.

everyone enjoys nice things, I don't think this is a sin or that you should feel guilty for having the ability to buy these things...you work very hard for your money.

try looking at these things from a different view: yes, you could have a home that is less expensive, but you wouldn't be so close to work. some people might not think that would have a big impact, but in your position it might. if you had a longer commute, you would have to get up earlier, fight traffic and arrive with less energy than you have now. that's not good. it takes a lot of energy to do what you do and to do it well.

i know, it might be a stretch for you to agree with the house thing, but know this: you are an incredibly amazing person with a heart that never stops giving. you love the children you see everyday at the Club, the children in your Girl Guard group and the youth that participate in Revolution. Some people give gifts of money or things because they don't have much else to offer...lucky for you, you do.

don't ever feel bad for treating yourself or taking a trip...those experiences in life only help you to teach those children how to reach their potential.

I could go on for days, but I won't. just know that you are loved and seen as an amazing person with the wonderful gift of teaching.

oh yeah, sorry about my blog...apparently not too many people know about the switching between pages. I'm looking into a different layout. :-)

We're all very blessed. Even the least fortunate of us have more than we need - in other words, we all have some sort of an excess.

It's interesting to me, as I've wrestled with some of the same thoughts, that Jesus never said, "Get more possessions and go serve the rich." But He did say, "Sell your possessions and give to the poor." (Granted that verse in FULL reads, if you want to be PERFECT, sell your possessions and give to the poor).

What I want to try to do - I don't know if this helps - is to find a kind of equilibrium . . . where resources given to others and resources kept for myself are in a comfortable balance (both physically AND spiritually). Granted, men are often more "functional" or "practical" when it comes to what we want to buy . . .

Is the mac practical or beautiful?

Answer: Both.

You and Tilden both are very giving - not just of finances but of so much more. Kristy and I have been able to see that in somewhat of a unique way. So take comfort in that.

But I believe that your prayer has been prompted by God, and that your wrestling is all part of the Journey!

p.s. Yes . . . this comment is too long.

Hey Stephanie. Great blog. This is what I think. When God says, "Take this ___ and give it to ___" then you should do it, and be full of joy at your obedience. When God says, "Don't buy that, that's not a wise use of your $$, use the money for ___ instead." then you should do that, and be full of joy at your obedience. The OTHER part to that, is when God says "I want you to take your $$ and buy this for yourself." You shoud also do that. That also goes for when others want to bless you with money, gifts, time, resources, encouraging words, etc.
That being said, when God tells me what to do with something, I can still struggle with doing it, but even more so with feeling joyful afterwards...sometimes I just mope or grumble at the loss. The lesson for me in that is this:

"More blessings come from giving than from receiving." Acts 20:35

You hear God, You know when He's telling you to do (or not to do) something, so 'The last and final word is this: Fear God.Do what he tells you.' Ecc. 12:13 MSG

Maybe that helps, maybe it doesn't, but MAN it feels good to share!
Oh, and walking in the gift of volutary poverty is way more fun and freeing than you can know beforehand...

~Heather