tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-229889072024-03-23T13:50:31.944-04:00So this is it..."Love the earth and sun and animals, despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others...and your very flesh shall be a great poem."-- Walt WhitmanStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-22500455427739897732008-07-19T20:34:00.002-04:002008-07-19T20:38:37.863-04:00This has been a hard week at work... and I am tired mentally, physically, emotionally... my heart hurts for the people involved in decisions I have had to make and situations I have had to deal with this week...<br /><br />I want some rain to just pour all over me right now...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-54979236188445608802008-06-23T22:13:00.004-04:002008-12-10T13:13:07.306-05:00Rascal Dog<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTAuQGuxoRa19_xZ63fzVMWY0UToWwMbQQ9FJwx5P-EXqRwciIkrdLRXOhFInjz61mp2ALkFlFpa2P3ayA8idpv6Bhwt6zNysEDR48MVzdVAbT6hLVPV1pF0oe4dzDrusQpom97w/s1600-h/Racal--where's+daddy.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215276940318713650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTAuQGuxoRa19_xZ63fzVMWY0UToWwMbQQ9FJwx5P-EXqRwciIkrdLRXOhFInjz61mp2ALkFlFpa2P3ayA8idpv6Bhwt6zNysEDR48MVzdVAbT6hLVPV1pF0oe4dzDrusQpom97w/s400/Racal--where's+daddy.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>So we knew this day was coming... I just didn't think it would hit me as hard as it has... after having Rascal as a loyal family pet for 12 years, we put her to sleep today. She had developed cancer that had spread to her lungs and had caused her to go blind in one eye... it was such a hard decision for us to make as a family, but we knew it was time... she lived such a great life... she brought so much happiness, laughter, and comfort to our family... I never thought I would have gotten so attached to her... I loved that dog. Mom and Dad talked to Trip on Friday night to prepare him (Rascal was technically his dog... he got her as a Christmas present when he was 8), and it was decided that we shouldn't wait anymore. Rascal may have been Trip's dog, but she definitely had the loyal-to-your-master relationship with my dad. If one of the rest of us told her to "come," she would maybe come (chances improved if we had a treat or an open car door). But if dad told her to "come," she would come. So dad wanted to take Rascal to the vet alone, I guess so he wouldn't have to be strong in front of anyone. So we all gave her one last ear rub or hug and told her goodbye beforehand. When dad pulled her leash down, she started wagging her tail, just as she always did when she knew she was going to go for a walk or a drive. When dad left with her, Trip closed the doggy door for the last time and just laid in front of it and cried. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So, Rascal is gone now. We have so many funny memories of her... when she ate an entire pizza off the kitchen counter (giving her the name Pizza Dog); when she ate an entire bag (wrappers and all) of Hersey kisses; when she ate an entire turkey carcass out of the trash (okay, so that dog liked to eat!); when Tilden picked her up when she was getting ready to fight another dog and accidentally stuck his hand up her rearend; when we decided that she had fallen in love with a dog on the Purina Dog Show; when she and Hannah frenched kiss when Hannah was a baby; when she had ELEVEN puppies; when we were pretty sure that for years she talked with a lisp; when just the sight of our tennis shoes would make her whine for a walk; when Becca & I decided to decorate her with paint but Trip got mad at us; when she caught a deer out at camp; when she burped really loud; when she was always there to greet us excitedly and genuinely as we walked into mom & dad's house; when she followed dad around camp everywhere he went; when she did great tricks on command; when she was always available for a cuddle...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I'm going to miss that dog... </div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-36244942758984765972008-05-03T21:11:00.001-04:002008-05-03T21:12:10.191-04:00My thoughts are too complex and involved lately to condense into a pretty little blog post...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-80105790261111367412008-03-26T18:09:00.006-04:002008-03-28T16:25:33.796-04:00StagnantHow quickly life becomes stagnant... of course there are beautiful, small joys in my life every day... especially with little Emerson around... but there are also too many moments that just pass by...that aren't lived fully. I'm reminded of the Pink Floyd song "Time..."<br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">...you are young and life is long </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">And there is time to kill today </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">And then one day you find </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Ten years have got behind you </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">No one told you when to run </span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">You missed the starting gun...</span></em><br /><br />Time is passing by so quickly... where is it going? What have I done with the time God has already given me? How can I make the most of every moment I have?<br /><br />Today sure is a beautiful day...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-59298813650965685862008-02-27T21:44:00.002-05:002008-02-27T21:51:19.318-05:00I was just watching Super Nanny, and I started crying. I started crying for all the kids in this world who grow up with parents who do not do what’s best for them… with parents who are abusive, immature, selfish, and just ignorant. It hurts to imagine Emerson, or any other child I know for that matter, being treated the way too many children in this world are treated by their parents… the ones who are supposed to love them and care for them the most. I just have to wonder what a different world this would be if all children were allowed to grow up in a safe, positive, nurturing home. <br /><br />Oh God, please protect and keep safe every child in this world tonight… let the children in this world experience at least this one night of safety and love… and if that is not your will, then please God, put someone in each of their lives that will show them love and will treat them like the beautiful creation you created them to be. Let them grow up knowing that they are valued and are Your creation... let it be so...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-66417861940976420872008-02-18T21:25:00.006-05:002008-12-10T13:13:08.929-05:00Time for some more pictures...<div align="center">If these pictures are any indication of her personality, we're going to have a blast these next 18 years!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7OkycayO7dEg-H4JwCb4jawJ5UHVhQ09yxLJLVANeuDqttj881QSGEBbsXLoi1JkPsqdI_OxL2VwSTO1RqlqfMfWPhyK4M5V61TLrKPIdF36PNxPme1PETobswnJTkpPBOsOVlQ/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+130.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168520607381097698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7OkycayO7dEg-H4JwCb4jawJ5UHVhQ09yxLJLVANeuDqttj881QSGEBbsXLoi1JkPsqdI_OxL2VwSTO1RqlqfMfWPhyK4M5V61TLrKPIdF36PNxPme1PETobswnJTkpPBOsOVlQ/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+130.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div><div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdhqUxTK3ZWKS7NQ8cji9d-u0aq84CrKZBgD1poH6237sY159t-dOGzhUxRo2Ry66kd8DQKJptbcHMlvqeS_7b9syAjMkyLrfarixbXn-yxg4swStWkN-KnePTXcWi8rSDCbQZw/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+133.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168520122049793234" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIdhqUxTK3ZWKS7NQ8cji9d-u0aq84CrKZBgD1poH6237sY159t-dOGzhUxRo2Ry66kd8DQKJptbcHMlvqeS_7b9syAjMkyLrfarixbXn-yxg4swStWkN-KnePTXcWi8rSDCbQZw/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+133.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This girl loves her bath time...<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj04aw2wN9ygrKckFa63v9_zdMrylfyS4sLhhe2wpAl7sDblI3TLYhr9li7lSSNkqaUmIfBb9AO7qgOtNMUSl76NQxpl0GR2thtQavAIQw-w2FH5IkGAsKF4EOj1p8QGEYnOJiU0w/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+047.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168518537206860930" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj04aw2wN9ygrKckFa63v9_zdMrylfyS4sLhhe2wpAl7sDblI3TLYhr9li7lSSNkqaUmIfBb9AO7qgOtNMUSl76NQxpl0GR2thtQavAIQw-w2FH5IkGAsKF4EOj1p8QGEYnOJiU0w/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+047.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />This picture was taken right after she turned over from her back to her stomach! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBAypk6gjPd_QV6MCF5YhuMB_bvI5JAOLAFN2OzYhf312marDvzIEFR5Gg8YG2070YDQmP_qvcV7TPLgcZlfTNNEACsetfgFuAAl_FhuprPykUCn15g2vHQ-yqObSqtm9MpEe3g/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+108.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168518550091762834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBAypk6gjPd_QV6MCF5YhuMB_bvI5JAOLAFN2OzYhf312marDvzIEFR5Gg8YG2070YDQmP_qvcV7TPLgcZlfTNNEACsetfgFuAAl_FhuprPykUCn15g2vHQ-yqObSqtm9MpEe3g/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+108.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div align="center">Emerson at 4 months old... we almost forgot to take a picture on her 4-month birthday, but we remembered right before bedtime...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEism1tW9IDbVPXYAOfGehTyp3mPahRHbGngn9OnlHmacTL6cJtZD9CQ9ZSZaGflbi6UEoOaVOg2gpBoConVJI0PL6C_52Zc0R4mJJtddqWaUkE0WwjCgHG3PZiv7ddx-0IOJ6vUyA/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+053.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168518558681697442" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEism1tW9IDbVPXYAOfGehTyp3mPahRHbGngn9OnlHmacTL6cJtZD9CQ9ZSZaGflbi6UEoOaVOg2gpBoConVJI0PL6C_52Zc0R4mJJtddqWaUkE0WwjCgHG3PZiv7ddx-0IOJ6vUyA/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+053.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div align="center">Good gracious... I love that smile...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmpp76Rx9qYp5xwppo1JwOsuFLA7_WmPQyMFxHbJKWP8L4MzP28TVy1OezyWeKJxE-2OTX1kKfd7q-NxBCXLvHL_iM9INkUj9-dyhwBEdNpG5KZWI991-Xw_rQhgzPaOtV9adEg/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+151.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168518571566599346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmpp76Rx9qYp5xwppo1JwOsuFLA7_WmPQyMFxHbJKWP8L4MzP28TVy1OezyWeKJxE-2OTX1kKfd7q-NxBCXLvHL_iM9INkUj9-dyhwBEdNpG5KZWI991-Xw_rQhgzPaOtV9adEg/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+151.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><p align="center">She's recently discovered that it feels good on her gums to stick out her tongue... I love it!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqB3xzCH2J6naKLtatsCMv2nGtw5W02ebr3oGG7OOjCehAMb5boZyBBabsGf7r8laBhRLM8SrQH3RP3YLk3ugzGwsthoH0U1sGj83HKSIR3wPNEHJC4yLRHJUsFnXAZSO1zCMIA/s1600-h/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+141.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168518580156533954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqB3xzCH2J6naKLtatsCMv2nGtw5W02ebr3oGG7OOjCehAMb5boZyBBabsGf7r8laBhRLM8SrQH3RP3YLk3ugzGwsthoH0U1sGj83HKSIR3wPNEHJC4yLRHJUsFnXAZSO1zCMIA/s400/Emerson+Jan-Feb+2008+141.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /></p>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-63828045020625389842008-02-15T21:33:00.004-05:002008-02-15T22:27:40.025-05:00"Dance It, Honey!"Rebecca has been taking dance classes downtown, and she recently received an invitation to attend a master dance class with the Alvin Ailey company since they are performing in town this weekend (which Tilden and I will be going to see as well). She invited me to go with her, so that's how I ended up spending my Wednesday evening. After running a couple blocks in the pouring rain with no umbrella from our parking deck to the Blumenthal, we made it to the class soaking wet, but ready to soak in everything offered in the class.<br /><br />I love dancing, but haven't done any dancing (besides jumping around in my living room) in quite some time. It was awesome... it made me remember why I love dancing so much in the first place. Yeah, I felt extremely stupid because I couldn't catch on to the routine fast enough, and when I got one part I forgot another part, but I was impressed with how much technique I still remember. My post-pregnancy body is extremely out of shape, and muscles that haven't been worked in a long time from my wrists to my knees were sore, but it felt good to be in a dance class... to receive feedback on how I was doing. The instructor kept saying, "you've got to dance it, honey!" He made a good point: sometimes you just have to get back to the basics and remember why you fell in love with the art in the first place. I think that advice could pretty much work in many areas of life...<br /><br />Anyways, it was a fun, unexpected way to spend an evening... who knows? Maybe I'll enroll in some more classes soon...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-54870121666011392662008-02-10T00:30:00.000-05:002008-12-10T13:13:09.187-05:00Three Cups of Tea<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9v2T5trhkBPo6L6QFpZk5DINaMGD7ALh96rdoloAqJwwlZ6Wo-mTeC3B4NuI5IunovdKiWeQpt7YZP9HR8FTqP6ERijLonXEPyNfCazI8qqEOWmiDyL2IWrDBLMCtDxBcIgwKzw/s1600-h/three+cups+of+tea.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5165220500539739250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9v2T5trhkBPo6L6QFpZk5DINaMGD7ALh96rdoloAqJwwlZ6Wo-mTeC3B4NuI5IunovdKiWeQpt7YZP9HR8FTqP6ERijLonXEPyNfCazI8qqEOWmiDyL2IWrDBLMCtDxBcIgwKzw/s400/three+cups+of+tea.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I'd recommend this book to pretty much every American to read... it gives a great perspective on what life is really like in the Middle East... and what one guy is doing to make a difference...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-14949829623002579062008-01-31T21:16:00.000-05:002008-01-31T21:27:22.271-05:00So my prayer tonight as I caught a glimpse of my sleeping daughter in the mirror as I was laying her in her crib was, "oh God, please don't let me screw this whole thing up..."<br /><br />It kind of just hit me, all over again, that she is an actual human... a human that we are shaping into an adult... an actual adult who will make her own decisions and impact other people... somehow.<br /><br />wow.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-71722886660377570152008-01-10T10:15:00.001-05:002008-01-10T10:31:39.025-05:00My life...Years ago, I never would have thought that my life would now consist of children's music playing constantly in my home, my living room being scattered with colorful baby toys, my days being planned around when my daughter will want to eat again, rushing to get home from work to see my husband and baby, meals being eaten while smiling at the face of a cooing baby, thinking that the best invention ever is a pillow called "My Breast Friend," washing and folding such small articles of clothing constantly, being ready for bed by 9pm, getting joy out of seeing my daughter hold a toy or follow an object with her eyes or take a nap in her crib...<br /><br />But that's my life now, and well, it suits me just fine.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-39268115071952410292008-01-07T09:10:00.000-05:002008-01-10T10:12:52.435-05:00Decision time...So I am sitting here on the couch, listening to some good classical music while Emerson naps in her blue swinging chair, and I am blessed this sunshiny morning. I woke up a bit grumpily from a deep dream-filled slumber with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Tilden</span> tapping my shoulder, telling me that he was going to get Emerson out of her crib because she had a bad diaper...<br /><br />But because I purposefully went to bed earlier last night, I don't feel tired this morning, so I am now in a good mood (I am so not a morning person, and having a baby who wakes up when the sun comes up is a difficult thing... at least she's adorable).<br /><br />I am soliciting prayer...<br /><br />For my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">FMLA</span> maternity leave, I chose to work half days since November... <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Tilden</span> is also working half days; he works mornings, I work afternoons. This works out well for little <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Eme</span>, who gets to spend quality time with both of us while we can also have time that we can devote to our jobs as well. This is the plan through the end of February, at which point I am supposed to go back to work full time. The thing is, I don't think I can. The thought of putting Emerson in daycare full time can not even register in my brain... and other options like a nanny or someone else watching Emerson don't sit well with me either because I don't want someone else being with my child more than I am (although I know some awesome nannies, who, by the way, I couldn't afford!)... I don't want someone else being the one to raise my child. Because see, if she wakes up at 7:00am, I would see her in the morning while I am getting ready for work, but then I wouldn't see her again until 4:30pm or so, when I got home from work, and then she goes to bed around 7:00pm. How can I raise my daughter when I would only see her 4 hours a day?<br /><br />I love my job... it is not just a job for me... it is my mission, my calling. But I feel like I am going to be leaving it at the end of February...<br /><br />I have been praying about what we would do with Emerson since before she was born... I know that God has a plan already in place; my prayer is for Him now to reveal it to me... and it seems like leaving work is becoming the clearer option for me as the days go by.<br /><br />I would miss my work terribly... I don't think I have come to a finishing point yet... but it makes me excited to think that I would be able to stay home with Emerson and live life with her everyday.<br /><br />Financially, it would be a struggle. But we could make it work... people do it all the time. We may have to sacrifice certain possessions, vacations, even our current home, but I am willing to do so. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Afterall</span>, I would hate to look back a few years from now and say, "I didn't get to spend much time with Emerson when she was little, but I sure loved that place we lived!" It has become clearer to me these past weeks that possessions, occupations, even homes don't define me... it's not about those things... it's about my relationship with God, and when that's where it should be, my purpose and role as God's child is revealed... and along with that is my role as Emerson's mother...<br /><br />And now she is waking up and smiling at me, so I will go, but please take a few minutes to pray on my family's behalf... that I may do what God wants for my life... and that my wants, desires, or thoughts do not interfere with God's plan...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-41378080795507391952007-11-30T08:42:00.000-05:002007-11-30T08:47:23.474-05:00Emerson slept all night last night! I didn't think that I would ever get an uninterrupted night's sleep ever again... but, alas, the day has come... now it may have only been a one night accurance, but I'll take what I can get... and I'm grateful. : )Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-59629336195950971542007-11-25T15:23:00.000-05:002007-11-25T15:29:24.454-05:00GratitudeI heard this song at Watershed today... beautiful.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Send some rain, would You send some rain?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But maybe not, not today</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe You'll provide in other ways</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And if that's the case ...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">We'll give thanks to You with gratitude</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">For lessons learned in how to thirst for You</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">How to bless the very sun that warms our face</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">If You never send us rain</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Daily bread, give us daily bread</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Bless our bodies, keep our children fed</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Wrap us up and warm us through</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe not, not today</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Maybe You'll provide in other ways</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And if that's the case ...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">We'll give thanks to You with gratitude</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">A lesson learned to hunger after You</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">That a starry sky offers a better view</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">If no roof is overhead</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And if we never taste that bread</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Oh, the differences that often are between</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Everything we want and what we really need</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Move our hearts to hear a single beat</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Between alibis and enemies tonight</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Or maybe not, not today</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Peace might be another world away</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And if that's the case ...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">We'll give thanks to You with gratitude</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">For lessons learned in how to trust in You</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">That we are blessd beyond what we could ever dream</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">In abundance or in need</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">And if You never grant us peace ...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">But, Jesus, would You please ...</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">--by Nichole Nordeman</span>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-48073696433513540912007-11-21T19:39:00.000-05:002008-12-10T13:13:10.048-05:00Live in the Sunshine...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvljqwwbM9CxKj3dd5gA3C24J7Zo94b8zL6PM12-1KLS-5mKBQiKjVzvc_6hPLM8xGVbWu2f9un3Xlg6a-hf5lkdvZMzAXgF9csbH3jsCXCp3Sla2zXmFWLEuruEblRtwVcfPHWQ/s1600-h/PB170004.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135458767000214402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvljqwwbM9CxKj3dd5gA3C24J7Zo94b8zL6PM12-1KLS-5mKBQiKjVzvc_6hPLM8xGVbWu2f9un3Xlg6a-hf5lkdvZMzAXgF9csbH3jsCXCp3Sla2zXmFWLEuruEblRtwVcfPHWQ/s400/PB170004.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3jYBhBmNWYehqn5mZebMjvn93xNL36OfXQRMRVJWRCdNZWoXM9Xa2glXyBqFwPQba7rGboLVXFAJxfWM1LLLEam1shHVt2f0FKPpdj0VoAf7cIiYJFhLU1pcCIdSwjcjV3pH9oA/s1600-h/PB170007.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135458779885116306" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3jYBhBmNWYehqn5mZebMjvn93xNL36OfXQRMRVJWRCdNZWoXM9Xa2glXyBqFwPQba7rGboLVXFAJxfWM1LLLEam1shHVt2f0FKPpdj0VoAf7cIiYJFhLU1pcCIdSwjcjV3pH9oA/s400/PB170007.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAonXoFLobI6g1Lk7OOdi3WM9MVbNwWPZC2TnNmF5xHd7zHjce4tbXtSmmOhkigWZK-EYCBaKnz-E7D_L-X3Unwhu0kNIs4OuwQQmHDrZjDZyOCCD7PZNkDaCVXP4o9tmo-maHtQ/s1600-h/PB180016.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135458788475050914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAonXoFLobI6g1Lk7OOdi3WM9MVbNwWPZC2TnNmF5xHd7zHjce4tbXtSmmOhkigWZK-EYCBaKnz-E7D_L-X3Unwhu0kNIs4OuwQQmHDrZjDZyOCCD7PZNkDaCVXP4o9tmo-maHtQ/s400/PB180016.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-60748149439706431132007-10-15T16:27:00.001-04:002007-10-15T16:30:12.878-04:00So having a baby really breaks you down... emotionally, physically, even spiritually by having taken part in such an amazing miracle... it's a good brokenness... one where you just lift your arms up to God and tell Him your His... His to do whatever He wants... and I'm not just His, but my little girl is too. And that's an awesome thing.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-43776060218373689692007-10-04T21:04:00.000-04:002008-12-10T13:13:11.086-05:00Nine months later...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmo1bPPr6faRlfQTzE_ZtV_1k7cwojpa4ip0C5Y2oGss9WFMY0ydnjp7anJ5hInU9h009nHO2GI4IkkH9V-KTIfqYLo-35TaW9D5jUHh6Wca1VcTX3KTqMDTPlHcP9Pqu7UnWxxw/s1600-h/IMG_5161.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117881260691279714" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmo1bPPr6faRlfQTzE_ZtV_1k7cwojpa4ip0C5Y2oGss9WFMY0ydnjp7anJ5hInU9h009nHO2GI4IkkH9V-KTIfqYLo-35TaW9D5jUHh6Wca1VcTX3KTqMDTPlHcP9Pqu7UnWxxw/s400/IMG_5161.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDQv0bvPa2g27VqTuPiOgngJH5FVtfOV4Zgz1gppF1jKDVHGhZYzAQkz7gZrhozc9FrueAoRRdzsIUVOlY-oohasTrUVlqINDoCNnBE1hr5TYF-eEh7xUt9qyz9VmjqfP1FvBsw/s1600-h/PA030023.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117881269281214322" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTDQv0bvPa2g27VqTuPiOgngJH5FVtfOV4Zgz1gppF1jKDVHGhZYzAQkz7gZrhozc9FrueAoRRdzsIUVOlY-oohasTrUVlqINDoCNnBE1hr5TYF-eEh7xUt9qyz9VmjqfP1FvBsw/s400/PA030023.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirINDbPldqxd4q1iWFX1aXwhO-8azURkyR_OtXP3KQwj-_r0274CF_X_wfHlpLjHWGH-MP-GTyv9Z5VcJJnot1ZEuI9uBpjzxxRLev40wT17HRCQNEFwJqeXwo7Y5GkdmruCEA0w/s1600-h/IMG_5184.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117881273576181634" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirINDbPldqxd4q1iWFX1aXwhO-8azURkyR_OtXP3KQwj-_r0274CF_X_wfHlpLjHWGH-MP-GTyv9Z5VcJJnot1ZEuI9uBpjzxxRLev40wT17HRCQNEFwJqeXwo7Y5GkdmruCEA0w/s400/IMG_5184.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo6lGGUo6Ph1f8aYTApQ0gTGf48nTvYKfmGrLLc_Pmge_rhZft5MjuaCEd4L-ElO0qVNqDoJNeMYxMyBjDCy5vXpEyquF2jfw9BIwqikA8vBuQtVRB9iXm42GS5L6JqqS7aFU67w/s1600-h/PA030020.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117881277871148946" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo6lGGUo6Ph1f8aYTApQ0gTGf48nTvYKfmGrLLc_Pmge_rhZft5MjuaCEd4L-ElO0qVNqDoJNeMYxMyBjDCy5vXpEyquF2jfw9BIwqikA8vBuQtVRB9iXm42GS5L6JqqS7aFU67w/s400/PA030020.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2WxdzlNa7JnnZ3aKqIHgICKUFlJz2ejQAkZMz7K1yjpYRAcjXIdYkFO3cm-w4GZV3XlRyfyxDxyYM7odHdimroL7ScH8aqjLpbkwHx5BHgr4XE2Q_Di9XXf4phlC_uFlY89BiA/s1600-h/IMG_5202.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5117881282166116258" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY2WxdzlNa7JnnZ3aKqIHgICKUFlJz2ejQAkZMz7K1yjpYRAcjXIdYkFO3cm-w4GZV3XlRyfyxDxyYM7odHdimroL7ScH8aqjLpbkwHx5BHgr4XE2Q_Di9XXf4phlC_uFlY89BiA/s400/IMG_5202.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>So I kept meaning to get around to posting ultrasound pictures of the baby... never quite got to it... time passes so quickly... now I have actual pictures of Emerson Maya Costas Engle! She was born a little more than a week early on Sept. 29 at 2:20pm... the labor process was good, and now Tilden and I have a beautiful, perfect little baby girl to cuddle and love and keep us up half the night... here are a couple of the hundreds of pictures that have been taken of her so far...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-20127919190412697122007-09-26T19:43:00.001-04:002007-09-26T19:45:27.645-04:00I'm pretty much fed up with the way The Salvation Army, in general, views the Boys & Girls Clubs. The Club program is no less important than a Sunday service program... I'm tired of it being treated as inferior and second to anything the "corps" may do.<br /><br />That's all... just frustrated.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-47349563344197072062007-09-21T23:02:00.000-04:002008-12-10T13:13:11.296-05:00Funny Picture<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhty8xRD_Tk3PN7iw67py7dtS09Q0cwJl22Z-shrEAnNs5vr2E2Y6FSS65zRHTwE1mRxtYsrebBtGrwtsE4qff1cJYA3Pl4nz3th4CMNecAmZq72QLlheqRJr0F1wOtcRd-d2vrpg/s1600-h/ChimneyRock-025.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5112860473987026770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhty8xRD_Tk3PN7iw67py7dtS09Q0cwJl22Z-shrEAnNs5vr2E2Y6FSS65zRHTwE1mRxtYsrebBtGrwtsE4qff1cJYA3Pl4nz3th4CMNecAmZq72QLlheqRJr0F1wOtcRd-d2vrpg/s400/ChimneyRock-025.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Desmond took this picture... Tilden surprised us by jumping, and Desmond just happened to snap the picture right at that moment... it makes me laugh.</div>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-36900592986301643262007-09-15T00:16:00.000-04:002007-09-15T00:18:38.342-04:00There is a little life inside of me hiccuping right now... pretty crazy.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-36174954119864869692007-08-12T20:46:00.000-04:002007-08-12T21:00:23.485-04:00Where has the time gone? I think I've been focused the past few months on getting prepared... physically & mentally... to have our baby girl. My days are busy and consumed with the Clubs, and my evenings are spent relaxing, reading, researching, and preparing to have a baby. Pregnancy hasn't been bad... it started off a little rough, but once I got used to it, it's been pretty easy going and absolutely amazing.<br /><br />I think God wants to be more involved in this whole process, though. I haven't included him as much as I should. I need to remember to not only allow him in my daily life, but to seek him and then go after him! He wants to lead me to new places... I just have to keep up and follow. <br /><br />The future is looking pretty awesome... I just have to remember to make the present just as awesome... every moment & every day.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-63504139108556294362007-05-15T18:15:00.000-04:002007-05-15T18:16:15.305-04:00Two years down...<br /> ...eternity to go!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-8628015887911225872007-05-07T20:42:00.000-04:002007-05-07T21:54:47.957-04:00Freedom in the Inner Most Part of Me...I just had to get up and dance when I heard this song a few minutes ago... here are the lyrics to the second part of the song...the best way to listen to this song is while dancing around, with arms outstretched to God...<br /><br /><br /><em>Just to be with you, oh Father!</em><br /><em>Just to be with you, oh Daddy!</em><br /><em>My arms are outstretched; I'm crying out to you!</em><br /><em>Where do you want to move me; where do you want me to go?</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Oh God...</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Your freedom- to be like the child you created me to be</em><br /><em>Oh the enemy of my soul-- in the world</em><br /><em>Oh the enemy of my soul-- in religion</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Oh God!</em><br /><em></em><br /><em>Draw me out, draw me out, draw me out, draw me out, by your hand</em><br /><em>Draw me out, draw me out, draw me out, your arms outstretched to me!</em><br /><em>I'm crying out; I'm crying out!</em><br /><em>Do you hear my people father, do you hear my people father! I'm crying out!</em><br /><em></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Freedom in the inner most part of me</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Freedom in the inner most part of me</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Freedom in the inner most part of me!</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Freedom not to be not controlled by anything,</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;">but to be controlled by the very love and will of You, Father!</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:130%;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:180%;">Freedom not to be controlled by anything, not just to be not controlled by anything, but to be controlled by your very will, by your very desire, by your very plans for me... move me, move me, direct me, oh God!</span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">-- Jason Upton "Will of God" on Dying Star album</span></em>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-30911839630970967562007-04-25T00:01:00.000-04:002007-04-25T00:03:18.916-04:00So the baby is about the size of an avocado right now...<br /><br />...I like it when my dad makes guacamole...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-2698557967221675222007-04-18T21:41:00.000-04:002007-04-18T22:09:20.689-04:00There is meanness in this world...and desperation, and hopelessness, and loneliness...<br /><br />It makes my heart so heavy to see that there are people in this world... high school students, college students, young men in Iraq or Pakistan... who have gotten to such a horrible place in their life where they feel that their only alternative is to kill others...<br /><br />I told Tilden last night that I feel we have become immune to these mass killings... that when Columbine happened several years ago, I was in shock and was glued to the TV to try to figure it all out... now, when twice as many people are killed, it seems like a horrible thing, but almost a part of life. I don't want something that horrific to be a part of life... but so many people in other parts of the world deal with it on a daily basis... it really is a part of their life. That's not okay...it shouldn't be a part of life for anyone. But yet here we are...Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22988907.post-24760139295156916602007-04-08T23:41:00.000-04:002007-04-09T00:17:27.259-04:00A purpose to it all...So I've been having these subconscious thoughts since I have been pregnant, thoughts that have only turned into words today. I just keep wondering if it is selfish for me and Tilden to have a child of our own. I mean, there are so many children already born out there who don't have someone to love them and don't have someone to take care of them. I have always said that I am interested in adoption, and I was even looking into the Mecklenburg County foster care system when I found out I was pregnant, which I took as a cue that I was not meant to be a foster parent at this point in my life, but that I am to raise my own child. So then I think, why does God want us to raise our own child? Yes, there will be countless joys and blessings that come with parenthood, but is that selfishness as well? Maybe not... maybe God blesses us with the gift of a child... allowing us to bask in that joy...<br /><br />But the only possible conclusion I can come to right now as to why God wants us to have a child is to raise it up not only love God (that can't be enough), but to want to serve God and make God's world a better place...to raise a child who can make a difference in the world even more so than me and Tilden... a child who can carry on the fight when we are no longer able. Any other reason for having a child is just selfishness, right?<br /><br />So that is what I pray. That I may see even the smallest joys of having this life grow inside and outside of me... so that I can truly appreciate being a part of this miracle of God... and that we may raise this child to truly be a child of God... a child who not only see the beauty of this world, but the injustices as well... and who is not content to live inactively alongside them.Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13667987492842380708noreply@blogger.com3